Last night, my friend Amrit and I decided that beginning Monday, we are no longer going to allow ourselves to spend money in a bar or in a restaurant for drinks or food for 30 days. I’ve been going a little crazy with the amount of money I spend out and need to get myself back to living the lifestyle I had when I made much less money as a barista.

In those days, I was able to get by and pay my bills, feed myself, and still had cash to go out and drink with friends. So what’s different now? Why am I spending so much more money? It’s a ridiculous and true concept that you spend more when you make more. I know it’s possible to get by and still have a life on half of what I make. I just need to reconnect with those principles. I need to spend more time at home with friends, cooking food and hanging out. Sure, the bar and party scene is fun and I enjoy a nice meal out at a nice restaurant. But, I can’t afford to do this every night of the week or all weekend long, every weekend. There are a lot of cheaper and more affordable options of having a good time.

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I’ve been going through my old blog entries from years ago and have been amazed at how much I wrote back then. A part of me is nostalgic for those times, but the other part of me doesn’t recognize the voice I had. I seem like such a different person now and reading the entries sound like their coming out of someone else’s mouth or from someone else’s fingers.

I can’t believe some of the things I’ve written or how I’ve felt. I almost feel like that person also had a much more full life than mine. Or is it that person took the time to write it all down. For the most part, I wrote in code. I didn’t want to write out someone’s real name, so I gave them nicknames. There was one entry in particular where I referenced someone from an older post and talked about this person in great detail, but not enough detail for me to remember who this person was. I had feelings for this guy, yet today, I can’t remember who he is or what the circumstances were at the time that led me to write that post. It truly does feel like I’m reading someone else’s journal.

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