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i’ve been meaning to do a few entries on a few things lately, but i just haven’t had much time. maybe some of these things are best left unsaid, or fully layed out.
burning man was great. i had fun. i worked hard and i played hard. it was an amazing experience. again i went into it with certain expectations, only to be confronted with a completely different experience. you never know what to expect while you’re there. there was minimal drama. there was some. but i knew better than to let it get the best of me. i was emo for a bit of the time. but not enough to say that burning man was and still is the best experience to have on my belt.
while steve was away in ibiza, i dealt with my demons(fear) of being alone and single. i faced them and confronted them. and by the time he returned, the uncertainty of our relationship came near and eventually we broke up. i saw it coming and i knew it was for the best. i still love him and i know i always will. once you’ve been in love with someone, you never stop loving them. a part of you always will. we’re still friends and we’re still on good terms. and i hope we always will be. i’m grateful for everything we’ve been through. i don’t regret any of it.
this past weekend, i went home for a friend’s wedding. i hung out with friends that i don’t see often enough. friends who remind me that when i’m at my lowest, i still have people who love me and care for me. and people who will forget that you’ve been gone almost a year each time and still treat you like you were always there. i’m thankful for them. they’ve always been my family. we’ve had our differences at times and sometimes i feel distanced from them, and not just geographically. but when we’re all together, that feeling goes away and it was like it never existed.
the wedding hit me deep inside. the two friends who finally got married deserved every bit of happiness that day brought them. it was a great ceremony, a rather long, but necessary reception. they have so much love in their lives and they went all out on the ceremony. i can only wish i can have the opportunity to celebrate my love with someone with my friends and family as they did. one day. maybe. someday.
shortbus is a fucking amazing film. i saw it last night and was almost in tears. it’s an amazing combination of pornographic content and story with so so much heart. yes. the fucking is real. the cum is real. but the story is one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride. go out and see it.
