VD
meh.
VD depresses me. i’m not so sure why. maybe it’s because it’s a painful reminder of all the heartache i’m going through trying to find someone to be with forever, that is assuming i believe in all of that and if i believe in “forever”. i’m not even sure if true love exists. i believe in love. i believe in the love of friends. i believe in the love of family. and i’ve experienced love in relationships. but what is true love? what is that crap even supposed to mean?
one person in all the world chosen to spend the rest of your entire life with? what if you don’t find this “chosen person” until late in your life? sucks for you?
i really want this day to mean something. the romantic inside me is screaming to make it a special day for me and someone else. but it’s just hard to do when you’re single.
i’ve actually had some good VD experiences. (and yes, i know i’m using the acrononym jokingly to represent Valentine’s Day and not so much Venereal Disease, but i’m sure you get the joke here.)
one VD in long beach, four or five years ago, my boyfriend at the time and i had decided last minute that we were going to celebrate. we each bought each other gifts secretly, and went out for a nice meal. we tried to get reservations, but it seemed every decent restaurant around was booked. i guess that’s what we get for waiting for the day of to make reservations. we ended up finding some divey bar of PCH that served food and had a live blues band. we ate, we drank, we danced. it was a pretty fun spontaneous night. the best evenings seem to work out that way.
to be honest, that might be the only memorable VD experience i can think of. for the life of me, i can’t remember what i did last year. i’ve been trying to rack my brain all day trying to think of where i was in life a year ago. who i was with, or what i was doing at the time. i just remember going through months of heartache over my then recent breakup with steve. i think i wasn’t in any mood to celebrate VD, as much as i am now come to think of it.
i try to be a festive person. i have a thing about holidays. even though, the only holidays that i really truly believe in are birthdays, i still try to make somewhat of an effort to recognize the other ones out there. i’m not exactly one to go out and buy a bunch of stuff to celebrate every holiday there is out there, but it is a great reason to gather with friends and enjoy some time with each other. the only time i justify becoming a consumer whore is if it’s for someone’s birthday.
that being said, i wouldn’t mind it at all if i was in a relationship when VD rolls around. i would love to make a big deal out of it and get all romantic and shit.
but my very good friend Love made a point last night that you don’t need a day to tell you to be romantic. if anything, VD should be a day to not be romantic, since you are already that way 364 days out of the year already.
it’s a nice thought. it would be even nicer if i was with someone long enough to experience 364 days of romance.
